BACK TO THE INDEX.
(These are various odd things from The Oddish and complete 1999 articles. No links work, sorry.)
The Poem from the bottom of the "Stuff No One Likes" Section
Endless Chatter
By Philip Wesley 1999
The spider in my cider is beside her and it's wider but the motion in the ocean is devotion all in notion to the speed to the slow to the high to the low to the new and the wrong raise a lyric raise a song keep it up do not fail beat the world into a pail spread the love all around jump on up and hit the ground run from the fear and you cheer like a seer strung on beer in the odd oh my God is this done is it one is the keeping gonna run for the hills sending chills and the fancy little pills in the ryhme out of time on the page in the climb to the short to the good all around in the hood keep the beat move your feet stop to eat and you wonder all asunder about the blunder it is under all the bushes and the trees and the puppies scratch the fleas all the way hear I say that this stuff won't go today like a green mean machine in this twisted teenage dream and all is what I seem and the world is gonna gleam to end her and render all these words in a blender add the spider in my cider is beside her and I chide her to rain on the brain of a gain and the pain digs deep into my pocket like a rocket in a socket don't you knock it or kick and bite the fight to make it right and ban what you can because I am the man and you are the plan to stop the spider in my cider is beside her and it's wider but the motion in the ocean is devotion....
Description of "Stuff No One Likes" Section
Horrible stuff found growing in The Oddish!
What moonsongs do you sing your baby? What secrets lie below the flesh of the paper? What skeletons lurk in your closet? Well, we at the Oddish really don't give a fuck what you have in your closets; but we did find some fairly fucked up stuff in ours. Stuff by people like "NeoVid" or "The Dawn Spawn".. and parodies of popular songs. Be warned that a lot of this stuff is well.. consider it to be PG-13 with a strong warning. Okay.. so the parodies are all pretty squeaky clean; but the "MSTs" are not. A "MST" is a Fan Fiction commentary. The people who make the MST take a Fan Fiction, and seperate it line by line and make rude and questionable comments on it. This is done in the tradition of "Mystery Science Theatre 3000"; which was a show where the same thing was done with movies; except.. no one watched that show. Oh, because of the immense.. SIZES of some of these files.. they contain no ads. Oh, some of the MSTs are so fucking huge that they can freeze people with pathetic connections. -ODD-
Description of "Old Crap" Section. (archives)
Old crap archived.
Today, a breakthrough in Internet technology was made. The ODDISH has announced that they are archiving older copies of the ODDISH. This new idea has swept through the internet and many sites have started saving their old crap. Some sites have stated that this is a new revolution in the art of saving old crap that was passed off as news for viewing years later at 3:27 PM on Saturday in your Mickey Mouse VS. Astroboy boxers. On a minor note.. the Infinite Veggie warns you that these MAY NOT contain links back to this page and many have "dead" links. -ODD-
Headlines for August 21st, 1999.
Get Oddish.
The ODDISH is a companion section to the Dispatch. The Dispatch is our NEWSLETTER. The Oddish is filled with unusual stuff. The main purpose of the ODDISH? To archive the newsletters and our special "ODDISH" news. The news you see here in The Oddish is umm.. well.. it's not real.. it's meant to be funny. This "restricted" section is where we get "real". In other words.. it's simple and it's straight forward in a satirical way and it will take you out back and make you love it. And you will let it. Oh.. just to tease you.. NONE of the links to the left work right now... except for that DMG Ice one. -ODD-
Get your Dojo working.
Word from my leaks at "Nintendojo" -a somewhat famous website where the fine art of Tai Bo is considerably needed- states that Nintendojo will be "branching out" into several smaller sites, a French version of itsself, a version devoted to some comapny called Sega, and a curious Game Boy Color site. Eventually, they hope to branch out in to other sections and become as big as IGN itsself is. According to my umm.. sources.. the site will start hitting on newer topics as well. Later this year is "MojoDojo" - an answer to "IGN for Men" and Home of the Cosmic Peanuts - and a branch into the wide world of Rap/Urban music called MofoDojo. Sports sites have been considered and so far, only CurlingDojo, DojoDojo, PoloDojo, and GogoDojo for Soapbox fans have been signed up. Also on the plans are fashion and specialty sites like JujuDojo, and FubuDojo as well as the hotly anticipated Animal site "CujoDojo". When asked about this branching, IGN (Insectile Gourmet Network) had this to say: "NonoDojo." -ODD-
Senators demand funding for Red Ink.
Congress and the Senate have come to the agreement that this years "Video Media Report Card" will be a lot more "in-depth than last years". A congress member was quoted as saying: "In wake of that incident that people are sick of hearing about in Colorado; we have taken it upon ourselves to be your parents and crack down on stuff the simple plebians consider "fun". This year we are VERY disappointed in the Video Game industry and their self-imposed standards. So many horrible games have passed by as "entertainment" this year... it sickens me to see young kids minds warped and tainted by such violent/occultic/sadistically fun games. In fact.. we will be handing out so many grades this year that we ran out of our special $600 BIC pens." -ODD-
Hey now! You're a Rockstar.
ROCKSTAR games - the people behind that GTA expansion and the up-coming GBC "KISS Psycho Circus" game have announced a NEW game based on the popular singer Barabara Striesand. The game - entitled "Damn you Trey Parker" - is a top-down RPG where you travel from town to town to sing in a rather nasal voice; while avoiding potted plants, and angry dogs. This title is expected to garner an "M" rating and to feature "True-to-life" voice effects. -ODD-
Headlines for August 24th, 1999.
ODD only knows.
Sigh.. that somewhat annoying JAVA pop-up was killed. It was annoying as heck.. especially if you check the Arhives or other sections. And besides.. it litsed a BLUE VIRUS as working here.. but it's the Infinite Veggie that works here. Oh, the ARCHIVES work.. -ODD-
Pokémon cult leads to mass suicide.
Two members of a California based cult refered to as "The Magikarp seeking enlightenment" have been found dead in their homes from apparently spending thirty-five hours straight inside an indoor pool practicing their "Special Rite" known as "SPLASH". "Splash is the way to recieve Nirvana"; stated an anomynous long time member of "The Magikarp seeking enlightenment". The California based cult is said to have at least 5 members. "We are saddened by the loss of our brothers earthly forms; but we know that they have now evolved from their Magikarp states and entered the destiny of the Gyarados. They are truly evolved souls." A similar incident has been reported with members of another California based cult called: "Metapod Gate"; where members covered themselves in cement to achieve their rite of passage known as "Harden". -ODD-
Young Teenage Boy buys Zelda.
A teenager in Wal-Mart was seen purchasing Zelda. The store clerk, an ample young twenty-one year old female named Rachel, allowed this sixteen year old boy to purchase Zelda and did not even bat an eye over selling Zelda. In a press release, Zelda has been sold over 1,000,000 times since Zelda first became available to the public. Zelda has also been the top over night rental for the last three weeks. And many people claim to have beaten Zelda many times. At press time Zelda was unavailable for comment as Zelda had just been sold to a thirteen year old female. -ODD-
Infamous Webmaster exposed to damaging radiation.
On an idle tuesday of last week; Philip Wesley -the supposed Webmaster of DMG Ice.com- was exposed to damaging radiaton from his radio while driving to work. While flipping through channels, the nineteen year old young adult accidently tuned into the "Paul Harvey" show and then promptly started to veer off of the road. His passenger -fearing for their lives- changed to radio station in the nick of time. But; unfortunately it was changed to Mix 93.3 FM which was currently playing a song by Len which prompted a somewhat disturbing response from the driver. Because of this near lethal dosage of Len and Paul Harvey in the same three minute time frame. Philip could not stop blinking all day. Which resulted in an increase of attention from young females; but made it a pain in the arse for him to update his site. -ODD-
Konami sues Konami.
In a surprising turn of events Konami of Japan has sued several of it's in-house game development branchs. Konami opened a suit against KCEJ and KCEK for allegedly not working fast enough on Metal Gear Solid games and for adding a COUNTRY mix to Beatmania for GBC. Claims of "Castlevania Legends doesn't contain enough cleaveage" also have been mentioned. Konami is also said to be sueing Alpaloosa for "making Contra suck". Konami of America has said that it has "no comment" on the proceedings. Although, several in-house sources point to a similar lawsuit pending against Konami of America from Konami of Japan alleging that: "KOA is a big ninny ninny poopyhead and should have okayed several games for US release". -ODD-
Bernie Stolar goes bezerk.
Former important person of Sega of America -Bernie Stolar- was arrested yesterday for allegedly disrupting the peace inside Sega of America's offices. Bernie apparently arrived with a large chainsaw, a handgun, and several copies of Sewer Shark strapped to his back. One employee was quoted as saying: "That Chainsaw and gun really didn't frighten me much.. but when he threatened to make me play Sewer Shark.. I thought I was going to die." He then proceded to storm through various offices and chopped the 32X display in the Break Room in half. Bernie allegedly said "Die damned spawn of Satan" while he did that. The carnage continued on for several hours as frightened employees cleared out of the way of his chainsaw and bad Sega CD games. Bernie made his way up to the main boardroom and opened fire into the busy meeting. it took Alex Kid and Realia from Nights to finally subdue him; but sadly.. they could not stop him from shooting a large hole through Miles Prower (aka Tails), and severly amputating the legs of that boy from Nights. Axle from Streets of Rage was also hurt, and Big the cat now claims to be adrogenous. As Bernie was dragged away he started convulsing and screaming "SEGA" in an eerie voice over and over again. -ODD-
Headlines for September 5th, 1999.
GOOD ODD! It finally happened!
Duck and cover! We are all going to die! Damned Commies. the Oddish is going through a few "changes". To the best or to the worst.. is unknown right now. Expect to see some new stuff; or expect that to be an empty promise. -ODD-
Square announces RPG game.
In a surprising turn of events, Square LTD has announced that Square will branch off into a new genre of games. This genre is different from the Interactive movies, fighting, racing, and Resident Evil Rip-offs that Square has done in the past. This new game is said to be an "RPG". RPG stands for Role Playing Game. A game where you create/name a character and guide them along a path toward an inevitable goal; all the while battling monsters and evil villians to gain some type of point tally refered to as "Experience Points". This first game in the genre will be called "Legend of the Final Dragon Warrior Monsterémon Fantasia: The Crabbit Slayer". The biggest news is that this game will actually feature something called "Gameplay", and "Challenge". Something that has been notably missing from many of Square LTD.'s games. A Press Delegate for Square had this to say: "I believe that people play video games to play video games. And this new step to make our first RPG will be a big one. After years of Interactive Movies; we have decided that we have the technology to actually allow viewers to control the action, and not just press a button to see a movie." This new RPG will debut next year; for 25,000,000,000.05 Yen, or precisely $30. -ODD-
Breaking Game Boy Advanced news!
Nintendo has announced that the up-coming Game Boy Advanced will include a new feature called a "Power Switch". This cutting edge device allows gamers to not only turn on their new system; but also "turn it off". A spokesman for Nintendo stated. "For years, gamers have had to just pull out the cord from a wall or pop the batteries out of the back of their Game Boy when they were done playing it. But this new advance allows us to not only 'turn it on'; but also to 'turn it off'. We hope that this Power Switch idea catches on and we will use it in the new Dolphin." We state: "Dang, that's cool.. what will they think of next?". -ODD-
Teachers meeting in Kansas.
After announcing the removal of an emphasis on the Darwinian Theory of Evolution; a group of teachers and concerned parents met to discuss views on the situation. Facing against the mocking of "Highly Intelligent" critics like Time Magazine (Sorry.. I guess the Highly Intelligent part doesn't fit.), and people who should be smart enough to keep their blasted mouths shut on items that are not their concern. The bold group of determined parents have agreed that instead of Creation Science, as every one has suspected, a new theory of Evolution will be taught in schools. "This theory is more accurate; and it is more widely acceptable than some old drunken bastard's theory." The theory states that all life evolves and can evolve. "I have seen this work on Television; so I know it is true!" Stated a local parent. The theory states that we all came from bits of molecular instability refered to as a "ditto". Eventually, these "dittos" changed into evolved forms and forgot how to change back. Therefore we have various species and subspecies. Our closest relatives are creatures known as "Mr. Mime and Jynx". Although a connection to the Mankey has been suggested. This new theory will be used as the basis for Science studies in the second semester of school in Kansas. An excited student had this to say: "I hope to God that I didn't come from a Magikarp.... or a Grimer... that would destroy my self-esteem." And there you have it folks, the beauty of Public Schools. -ODD-
Headlines for September 16th, 1999.
All infernal heck breaks loose!
We broke loose and have attacked several people in the streets. Anyways.. there's some pretty darn original new stuff.. and I know that you really don't care about that. Check out the ARCHIVES so you can see all the nice stuff you missed because.. at the time.. you were not cool enough to see it. -ODD-
New SNK Handheld announced!
The creators of the over-priced NEO GEO console, and the ambigiously difficult to actually find NEO GEO POCKET COLOR; have announced a new system. The new system is a handheld device and will be called "NEO GEO POCKET COLOR ADVANCED"; it will feature a 33-Bit chip, the ability to display 512 colors on-screen out of a pallete of 1,000 colors. A spokesperson for SNK stated this: "The new system is ONE bit stronger than the GBA, and it can display ONE more color on-screen! I know the pallete is smaller; but HEY most of the older system users didn't care and it will be backwards compatible with all 19 games for the original NGPC! And because of this.. many stores won't carry it and the 30 something people that do own it will announce that it is waaay better than that Game Boy Advanced thing that has a larger pallete and more games. To help launch this device.. we have prepared lots of fighters and no RPGs; because.. no one plays those." -ODD-
New Game Boy Advanced NEWS!!
Nintendo announced that the GBA (Game Boy Advanced) will ship in August in Japan in eight different casing colors. The colors are a pretty blue, a pretty slick black, a really gorgeous green color, and awesome yellow color, an "ambrosia red", a cool clear blue, clear red, and a mettalic silver/blue camo case. The shipping colors for the GBA in the USA have been announced as well. American gamers will enjoy bright pink, and pastel purple. -ODD-
New Beatmania for Playstation announced!
Konami announced that a new BeatMania game will arrive for the Sony Playstation this fall. "This new game exploits all the real potential of the system" Stated a Konami representative. The new game will feature the music of the "Divinyls" and unique DUAL SHOCK support. "This new game will rumble harder and faster than anything you have ever seen." Stated the same Konami employee. -ODD-
Miyamoto Sneezes.
Shigeru Miyamoto -famed creator of Mario and the best damn rice cake cook this side of the industry- has reportedly sneezed while packing for the TGS. Leading industry analyists have yet to determine if this will have any relevancy to the actual show. -PAW-
Oddish Editor scandal.
The Infinite Veggie has been accused of promoting planticide in this old advertisement that reader "Greyleaf" found. The Oddish Editor stated this when confronted: "I think.. no.. I KNOW that is fake. I think that reader sucks and is trying to frame me, damn it! I.. I.. admit that maybe it was a youthful indescretion.. but.. that Watermelon broke my heart.. damn her.. damn Cheryl.. broke my heart.. are you writing this down? Please don't. Umm.. just write no comment or something. Yeah.. do that. Would you like a banana?" -VUE-
Headlines for September 19th, 1999.
That ODD thing.
Do you love us? We'll fix that. Here's some of the latest news and a new section! This new section is called "ODD STUFF" and from now on.. it'll be right here on the front page every update. It has some revamped Parodies! (A new one...) and I'm moving the MSTs to The Oddish; where they will run naked around the area in all their evil glory. And to top that off.. I added a NEW MST by "The Dawn Spawn". Feel free to print it out and place it in your ODDISH shrine. As usual, the content here is PG-13 and not really made for anyone but me. Although, you sadistic people might like it. -ODD-
Violent Game released.
That violent game that raised the eyebrows of everyone who saw it at E3 has been released into the public. The violent game proceeded to stomp on other more docile games in the Rentals and Sales Divisions. A player was stated as saying: "This game is so violent.. it kicked the living shit out of me!" Some authorities are currently making sure that steps are made to keep this violent game away from children. Some parents are worried that if their children spend time with this violent game; they will emulate the games violence. The violent game was the product of several years of vigorous programming by a group of middle-aged people in offices in Northern California. "I don't want that violent game in my house!" Stated a concerned parent. A concerned teenager had this to say: "I like that violent game; and I have spent many hours playing with it.. and I'm not violent; you stupid bitch-ass Mother fucking losers! The violent game was reviewed by a review board for a popular magazine and was given a relatively good review; although the game has a lot of violent acts inside it. The violent game has been removed from several stores because of parental demand. Toys R Us has literally kicked the violent game out of it's stores and Wal-Mart is expected to follow suit. The ESRB has stated that the violent game should only be handled by mature individuals; as young children should not spend time with it. A second violent game is scheduled to be released in a week that will make this game look peaceful in comparison. Although, the companies responsible for programming this violent game say that they have given their violent game enough "punch and muscle" to defeat the other upcoming violent game in the sales brawl. An educational game was released to the public around the same time; but industry pundits are quoted as saying: "That violent game pretty much stuffed that educational game in a locker." -ODD-
Microsoft changes name and announces new products.
It was announced last night that Microsoft Corporation in a move to make their products sound more "User-Friendly" and "effecient" has changed their name to "Apples". "This is NOT an attempt to emulate Steve Jobs; note the 'S'!" Stated, Software Mogul, Bill Gates at the announcement. "We are also pleased to announce two new Operating Systems that are in no way related to other OS's on the market. Behold 'Blue Cap Winux' and 'i-Windows'. We will be releasing a new console system in 2001 and it will be named 'Wincast'; instead of the unfriendly sounding 'Box X'. We will prove that we really don't 'suck' as much as everyone normal thinks we do." -ODD-
Snowball.com changes name again.
Affiliation.com changed it's name to Snowball.com a while ago; but due to complaints that "Snowball.com" suggested -in slang- an illicit oral sex act; the company has changed names again. The network that owns IGN will now be named "Blown.com". A Press Agent with the company stated this: "We have always, in our own mind, 'blown away' the competition. So we need a name that accurately reflects that. And yes, we did some research and we believe that we have found a name that doesn't put people's minds in the gutter." -ODD-
Hasbro announces new Playskool set.
"The new product entitled: 'My first Dungeons and Dragon' will be a HUGE success for Hasbro." Said a press release from the company. The "I'm a Dungeon Lord" set includes a small plastic dungeon with "real" decapitation doors, fun-loving orges, warlocks, dragons, banshees, harpies, wizards, and goblins in articulated detail. The "My first mini-demi-god" costume set is designed to make your child expand his/her horizons. Imagine the educational fun your children can have as they follow the mini-demi-god kit and put curses on their friends. A test family Mother had this to say: "My little Taylor loves the toys; he runs around the house yelling 'I am the mini-demi-god!' and 'I will scourge your putrid bones with my spell of flying fire ball scissors!' He carries the little plastic 'pentagrams of mini-cute-demon summoning' around everywhere! He took his 'mini-animal sacrifice kit' to Show and Tell at the preschool; it was so cute! He also wants to show off his 'mini-tarot cards' to all his friends in Sunday School. He's such a little dear and he's LEARNING too and that's important." The sets have begun full production for the Christmas season. -ODD-
Headlines for September 23rd, 1999.
It normally looks like that.
Do you believe in love? How about MSTs? Okay, we added six more to the ODD STUFF section. You may have already read them.. or not.. hopefully not. And because I updated that.. I have to do some news too. Lucky people, you are. Okay, the news is kinda lame though.. I just couldn't find any good news tonight. -ODD-
Sony employee commits suicide.
Tuesday night, Peter Fabrizemonoes, was found dead in the PR office of Sony of America's headquarters. He had apparently bludgeoned himself to death with a statue of Lara Croft. Although, some people believe that foul play could have been involved. A note was found attached to the screen of his computer; which for inexplicable reasons was displaying "www.drugs.com". The note said:
"Dear Sony,
How in the Hell do you expect me to sell the Play Station 2 to the public? It's almost 200MHZ weaker than that damn Nintendo system's specs, it's $400 and it's uglier than Dave Perry's momma. and it has two controller ports. I can't sell that. Now.. it would be okay if the games were sellable.. but aside from Tekken Tag Tourney, I'm gonna have a hell of a time convincing people to buy a Twisted Metal 4, Tomb Raider 5, Crash Bandicoot 4, Spyro 3, etc. Eventually, they'll figure out that they're all the same games all over again. And I can't keep bribing those magazines to print good reviews. And that damn idiot in the Crash costume wants more money, and that Square rep wants to buy part of company and.. I can't take it anymore! Goodbye, and good riddance!
Signed, Peter."
Sony has yet to comment; although rumours have spread that someone named "Bernard" may take the job. -ODD-
Sam's Town and Station Casino open new sections.
In a Press Release today, Station Casino and Sam's Town Casino group announced that they are expanding their many franchise clubs. "With the new additions to the casinos; we will have more room to put up our new games and attractions. We will be able to devote more floor space to serving watered down wine and hosting more of our popular games such as 'Craps, Roulette, Baccarat, Pokémon, Poker, Slots, Black Jack, and more'." The exansions are set to be completed this fall. -ODD-
Dolphin found dead.
Police issued a statement today about the recent news that a "Dolphin" was found dead in California. "The Dolphin.. just laid there, not moving. No life in it whatsoever." Said a young man who wishes to not be identified; but has been noted as the one who found the Dolphin. "I was looking forward to seeing the Dolphin and I ran to where they were keeping it.. and it was dead." He continued. "I never got to play with the thing. I was so excited.. I was going to play with the Dolphin.. I could imagine all the wonderful games we would play.. the Dolphin and I. But.. now it's dead.I called 911 and told them that the Dolphin had died. At first they didn't believe me; but they came anyways." A docter who helped move the Dolphin to the hospital for an autopsy had this to say: "I can't believe that the Dolphin is dead! I heard it was so powerful, and graceful. But now, it's in that room and it's starting to smell. It's really not what I was expecting to happen." There has been a memorial service announced for the Dolphin and many famous people are scheduled to attend.-ODD-
Man harmed by IGN.
In an unprecedented event; a 32 year old man in New Hampshire has filed a suit against Imagine Media claiming that repeated exposure to their websites has caused permanent retina damage to him. "I would read it all the time. I would switch between PSX.IGN, N64.IGN, DREAMCAST.IGN, PC.IGN, and POCKET.IGN. Green, Red, Orange, Blue Purple, Green, Red, Orange Blue, Purple. And it didn't bug me at first; but then.. I started staring at the left hand side of PSX.IGN.. and I started to feel sick.. the bright color was hammering into my brain. And I felt very, very sick.. my eyes felt like they were burning.. and then.. I blacked out. My wife woke me up and I was on the floor and my nose was bleeding and everything looked blurry." The man had suffered what was apparently, a seizure of sorts caused by the extreme green of the PSX.IGN site. -ODD-
Headlines for October 7th, 1999.
Scary ODD stuff.
Okay. I didn't try.. I admit it. Here is the news.. and some more "ODD STUFF". A parody, and a MST... please don't hurt me. -ODD-
Book Banned from Public Library.
A book was banned from a public library this last week; because of complaints by Library staff and some parents about this book. The book has been described as rather lewd and "of ill intent". "That book should have never been allowed in the library in the first place!" Said an angry parent. "That book had a lot of crass remarks and grotesque rhetoric in it." The book has not been reached for commentary. "It 'fell' off a shelf one day and hit me in the butt!" Said an angry patron. "That type of literature is a bane to decent literature everywhere!" The author of the book has not been reached for comment directly. But a press man for the author stated that the authour hopes that "no one was offended by the book" and apologizes for "anything the book has done to hurt them." -ODD-
Sprint and MCI despute.
All is not well in the marriage between Sprint and MCI. An industry insider has told THE ODDISH that a dispute has been raised over the commercials. Sprint wants to use Candace Bergen; while MCI wants to use Micheal Jordon. Shouts of "No one gives a shit about Murphy Brown anymore!" and "Jordon is a sell-out and his commercials are annoying now!!!" rang through the halls of the two companies on Wednesday. Also cries of "Well, what if Dan Quayle becomes president?" and "Everyone is always sucking up to Mike.. and he costs too much to use!!!!" were also overheard. In the end; MCI and Sprint supposedly settled on Jaael White and Rick Schroeder. The new development is set to be announced next week. -ODD-
Lynx owners live happier lives.
The Atari Lynx is credited with improving the quality of its owners lives.. "I was at this singles bar and NO ONE would talk to me!" Said Preston Oliver, a 30 year old white man who lives with his mom. "Then.. I bought an Atari Lynx. I slipped it into the front pocket of my pants.. and then.. the next night.. the girls were all over me! When I came in, they flocked over to me... literally! I even took this nice girl home with me to meet my mom." Another such success story was noted in the small town of Kickembabwene, Ohio. "I was literally the class dweeb!" Said Samantha Jenkerson, age 19. "Then, I bought two Atari Lynxs.. and a little creativity and the hook up cords for the device.. and VIOLA! I became the most popular girl at school!" An Atari Lynx is also stated as saving a small town in Holland from a flood when their dam sprung a leak last year. "It was awful.. I stuck my finger in it.. but my hand was too small! So, I shoved my Atari Lynx into the hole and it held back the waters! We were saved! I would like to see Hans Brinker claim that!" -ODD-
Headlines for October 31st, 1999.
Oh, how the Oddish has fallen.
Don't hurt me. I was.. umm... busy. After all. Okay.. self-pollenation takes time. Oh, you mean the Banner ads? Well, Philip said: "The ODDISH is sacred.. no banner ads"; but I said: "Banner ads.. the more.. the better; besides... they are a source of revenue." Anyways, this has been a while coming.. and we had lots of material. We'll do another update real soon; because.. we STILL have more content.. left. YIKES! Umm.. enjoy your ODDISH.. and click several times a day on the ads.. make it your religion. Speaking of religion.. the STUFF section updated.. new Dawn Spawn MST.. very offensive. New parody from a guest. As well as a new Guest Review. -ODD-
Teenager shoots other teenagers.
In an incident that will surely garner much attention in the media. A teenager in Warrensburg, Missouri -about several million miles from Columbine, Colorado- is said to have shot and killed three of his friends in a sadistic display of brutality. The youths were apparently playing some type of sick game they refered to as "Goldeneye" when the shooting deaths occured. "He just came up behind us with a shotgun... POW! POW! POW! And we died. Which kinda sucked." Said one of the victims. No charges have been filed yet in this case. We will have more on this case later on; when we have more on this case. -ODD-
Dead person honoured.
A famous person died recently. A very important person in the industry passed away solemnly and silently on some day last week. We at the ODDISH have taken the time to set up interviews with people who knew the dead person. One co-worker had this to say: "Him? I know him.. the stupid son of a bitch owes me money... oh.. he's dead? Umm.. I'll miss him. He was a honest, decent, hard-working, funny, and great guy. Why can't more people be like him?" The dead person was also honoured for his many achievements in the industry. None of which can be mentioned at this present time.. but we're working on it. -ODD-
Pokémon site announced!
A young and enthusiastic second-grader announced in lunch period that she will make a Pokémon themed website. She intends to use either Tripod, 8M, CJB, or Geocities for the server of her website. "This new website is about POKéMON! I'm pretty sure that the web needs a new site on POKéMON! It's gonna have pictures and midi files, and a lot of those neat little blank boxes with a red 'X' in their top left hand corner." She stated. A date has not been set for her new Pokémon website.. but we can expect it soon. -ODD-
Headlines for November 23rd, 1999.
Oddish syndrome.
Are you clicking on the banners? No? Dang it! Now.. I need to put up MORE! BWA HA HA. Next time.. click on them! Today, we have some new features. New.. "Editorials". When you see the name of a staff member printed on the left hand side.. click on it to hear their stupid, biased, self centered little editorials or new.. features. We added new ad banners on the bottom of the page and we will probably have new ones later on.. if we ever update. -ODD-
Nintendo seizes fake products.
It was announced that Nintendo seized countless amounts of fake Pokémon products. The products were found in several warehouses in California. The makers of the fake products have been issued a cease and desist order. Nintendo counterfeit seizer, Petter Migario, had this to say. "Every first and second tuesday, we are severely damaged by the sales of counterfeit Pokémon products. It costs us several tens of thousands of pennies. And every day when we don't make several million on Pokémon products is a BAD day." The fake products were destroyed by several large men in biker shorts that were purple colored. And the trampled remains of the counterfeit toys were offered as a sacrifice to the statue of Mario in front of the Redmond Washington Headquarters. The products featured slightly distorted Pokémon creatures labeled as "Digimon". Or "Tamagotchi". -ODD-
Dave Perry arrested.
Dave Perry, creator of Earthworm Jim, has been arrested for masticating in public. A startled witness had this to say. "I was sitting across the way from him in the restaurant. He was sipping some soda.. then.. he started masticating openly. It didn't take him long to finish; but then he started masticating openly again! I was truly offended by his open mastication." When questioned on the event; a well known doctor had this to say. "It's okay to masticate. Everyone masticates. But it is better to masticate discreetly; not openly. No one likes to see some one masticate openly. While I suggested mastication for better health; it is rude to masticate openly." It has been determined that Dave Perry faces either a small fine or just a large chewing out. -ODD-
Lockheed to change training policies.
Lockheed has announced that they will start new flight training courses with special VR simulators that have been programmed to simulate actual flight situations. Lockheed had this to say. "It was time to upgrade our systems. After some tests; it was decided that previous flight instruction simulators may have been.. inaccurate." An unknown employee had this to say about the new systems. It's about time they let us use something other than Blast Corps for training." -ODD-
Ethnic cleansing in small suburban town.
A horrible ethnic cleansing took place this last week in the small town of Panduckython, MA. The ethnic cleansing took place around 6:30 PM in a small suburban half-bathroom. A young hispanic girl was involved in the tragedy. "Well, she NEED to be cleansed." Stated a neighbor. "After all, she had been playing in the dirt." -ODD-
Delay Delayed
A representative for a large video game and entertainment media company had this sad news to state in a recent Press Conference. "We regret to inform you that the game that everyone wants.. will not be delayed. We were going to delay it; but for some odd reason.. we had to delay the delay and the game will come out on it's normal Release Date. -ODD-
Headlines for December 15th, 1999.
Oddish turns 10.
We are now on our tenth edition! Yippee! Good. Not much really.. later on.. for Christmas.. we may do something.. cool. Anyways, Reverend Piky, Frenchy and the news. It's not all very funny.. sorry about that. -ODD-
Anne Geddes arrested.
Anne Geddes, a famed photographer has been arrested today on charges of owning pictures of naked children. The pictures are of babies and toddlers; and some are dressed up in various "fantasy costumes". "The fact remains;" says one of the concerned neighborhood parents. "That that woman has been making photo albums of children, young children.. sometimes with exposed buttocks; and SELLING them. That's just sick. Plain sick." Another concerned parent voiced concern on the fact that Anne Geddes has even hired babies -from their parents- to pose in her photographs. "It's just freedom of expression, it's art." Said a representative for the ACLU. No charges have been pressed at this present time; but we expect to hear more about it at a later time. -ODD-
Toy manufacturer announces new toy.
A company that makes toys has reported that their business has been booming. "I owe it all to liscenses; and I am pleased to say that we got many other new liscenses for next year." Commented Mr. Allin banks, president of the Toy Making Company. He also announced a brand new toy line that is set to be released next Christmas season. "I call this new toy series: 'Tickle-Me Cabbage Patch Pokémon Trainers'. Each Tickle-Me Cabbage Patch Pokémon Trainer comes with a little collectable Teenie Beanie Talking Pokémon Baby. Each Teenie Beanie Talking Pokémon Baby can communicate with other Teenie Beanie Talking Pokémon Babies. There are special edition Teenie Beanie Talking Pokémon Babies and only a limited amount of specific kinds will be made before we retire them." The toys will cost $45.95 and be backed by a 90 Million Dollar Ad Campaign. The company expects to have a natural disaster and be unable to meet the toys demand next Christmas. -ODD-