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Rated: R
In a Basement in Knob Noster, Missouri. Sephiroth -Philip's Mewtwo- looked up from his Game Boy. "Do we have to doing a stupid c**king introduction to this shit?" Vuefire, Jerry, and Poppy Seed -A Red virus, a Yellow virus, and a somewhat trippy Wigglytuff, respectively- looked up from their game of Monopoly with Rubles. "Yeah, we basically tell people what the Hell is up and pretend that this paragraph is important." Responded Vuefire. "But, people just REALLY want us to be funny, right? I mean why bore them with paragraphs of stupid crap?" "Because a lot of MSTers do this." "But if a lot of MSTers started watching Stigmata and NOT yelling stuff at the screen.. would YOU do it?" "Okay... well let's at least advertise." "Sure. Everyone! Get your ass to www.dmgice.com and read the stuff we have for you in The Oddish!" "That will make them come running." "Come running? Eww..." "You're a nasty little f**ker, Vuefire." Jerry slowly snuck out the door. "You won't get me to do one of these!" Philip Wesley suddenly walked in as Jerry ran out the door and locked it behind him. "Hmm.... I appear to be stuck here... I guess I have to MST." Vuefire boasted: "I can't wait to start making my patented pervo comments!" Sephiroth used PSYCHIC on Vuefire and knocked him into semi-consciousness. "There.. now we'll start.."
>Posted by Michael OHare
All: Ruined by the Dawn Spawn, 1999 Dawn Spawn is "Sephiroth", "Poppy Seed",
"Vuefire", and Philip Wesley"
>the official Che Guevara lookalike of SVAM on
PW: Andro.
20:08:54
S: Are my girls measurements.
>8/24/1999 from 198.86.17.38:
PW: He's IP is showing.. we can track and kill!
S: Hmmph. Evilish.
>In a dark, secluded forest,
V: The next line should be "Man is in the forest.."
>a small, filty pool of water bubbles violently.
PS: It's bubbling violently!
V: Violent Bubbling.. that'll get Tipper Gore's panties in a wad.
>As the bubbling increases,
PW: Stir slowly and allow to simmer.
>a large, pink
V: Dress.. just like NeoVids.
PW: No fare picking on the Pinko.
>iguana scampers up to the pool.
S: Who the **** is iguana? Is that the hero?
PW: Iguana's taste like Chicken.
>"At last!"
V: My "PlayReptile" has arrived.
>it cries out,
PS: Should I console it or smack it?
>"My efforts are about to pay off!
PW: I guess it bought lotto tickets?
>I have summoned..."
S: Vampirella! And she's ready to suck my blood!
V: Or more than that.
>Just then, an eyeball,
S: Fell out of the iguana's nose.
PW: That doesn't make sense. You're fired.
>roughly the size of
S: The Authour's manhood.
PW: So, he'll need tweezers and a microscope?
>a basketball, emerges from the pool.
PW: (Quoting Ice Blue) WTF?
>"LORD HUGO, THE ALL-SEEING EYE!"
S: Is usually hanging around that Catholic Girls School.
>"Actually," the eyeball said, "I don't see all.
S: Just most.
>But I DO see most of everything."
S: That must be painful...
>"Oh," the iguana said. "well, then, I HAVE SUMMONED
V: A good Fan Fic Writer.. but he won't help me.
>LORG HUGO, THE
S: Large Mad Ball rip-off.
>MOST-OF-EVERYTHING-SEEING EYE!
S: (TM) Now on sale.
>NOW, LORD HUGO,
PS: You will take me in your arms and hold me.
PW: Huh?
PS: That eye is soooooo sexy.
>DO MY
S: Laundry.
V: Cousin.
PW: Dishes.
>BIDDING!"
S: Started at One Ruble.
>In reply to this,
S: I wrote: "You suck".
>Lord Hugo slammed
V: The Authour's momma.
>himself against the iguana, sending it
V: To Hell and Desperation!
>flying. "Don't make me laugh, rodent!
S: Yeah! No having fun in this lousy crap.
>I am a great, demonic entity!
S: You too? Small world.
>YOU shall do my
S: TAXES!
PS: Hair.
V: Cousin.
>bidding!"
V: Has closed.
>"iguanas aren't rodents,"
S: They're breakfast.
>the iguana muttered,
V: {As Iguana} "Get me the Hell out of this fic. I didn't mean to sleep
with that frogs wife.. honest.
>"and besides, I summoned YOU!"
PW: The idiot didn't know that you trap them in POKéBALLS first.
>"Look,"
V: Hell no am I falling for that!
>Lord Hugo said,
V: (As Hugo) "I suck".
>"I'm the near-omnipotent entity, you're a
PW: Ninny-Ninny Poopy Head!
>lizard! Figure it out
{S: I hate that show.
>or I'll kill you!"
ALL: We can only hope.
>"Fine!" the iguana yelled back, "bugger off!"
S: "Bugger off"? That sounds.. lame.
V: Oh, Just say fuck off.... self-censoring is lame.
S: No shot.
>"Actually," the eyeball said, "since I'm going to
S: Live with my mommy all my life.
>conquer things, me being
V: Retarded.
>evil and all, I wanted to know if you would
V: Blow me.
S: Vuefire!
PW: Don't look Poppy Seed!
PS: "Blow me"? Why would he want to be inflated?
>serve me with blind faith."
PW: Although.. I prefer being served food.
>"Pay?"
S: No... because you suck!
>"None!'
S: MONK!
>"...Dental plan?"
S: They only pull the teeth that you want to keep.
>"Full coverage!"
PW: Not enough... I can still read this.
>"I'm in!"
V: Deep Shibetta.
>"PERFECT!" Lord Hugo cried out.
PW: The end should be near.. must avoid killing self.
>"Now, I shall take over...
PW: Camelot!
PS: A Mini-Mall!
V: Rocket Star Adult Home Videos!
S: Shut up Vuefire.
>take over..."
PW hits himself with a board.
>Lord Hugo fell
S: Dead? *Crosses fingers*
>silent. "Hmmmm. Ya know, I haven't really thought much
S: Just like the authour.
>about what I'm going to
PW: Eat.
PS: Buy.
V: Impregnate.
S: Kill.
>take over. Aah, I'll just wander about until
ALL: We shoot you.
>I find something!
V: Like my detachable penis!
S: !!!!!!
PW: Can we say that? We aren't Nintendorks you know..
COME, LOWLY SLAVE!"
S: Must resist.. bad lemon reference!
V: Don't do that lowly slave! Remember the living room carpet?
>"Yes, my god!"
S: This authour is going to go to Hell.
>the iguana replied. "And my name's Skippy,
S: He should get that fixed.
V: With a name like Skippy.. he'll never get laid.
>by the way."
PW: Have you seen the Mysterious Forest?
>"Whatever. COME!"
V: Not on the carpet, you dolt!
>With that, Lord Hugo and Skippy walked off,
PW: The edge of the world.
S: Yeah!
>ready to take over...
PW: The Chicken Farm.
>whatever!
{W: And ever Amen.
1999 dmgice.com Philip Wesley and the Dawn Spawn.