BACK TO THE INDEX.
(Philip + DMG Ice readers 2001) (There were choices at the end of each chapter and readers voted on the choices.)
*Misty crawled out of her bed early that day and quickly changed out of her large Teddiursa pajamas.*
Misty: "Hmm.. what to wear today.."
*Misty gazed into the mirror as she held up a school girl uniform and a t-shirt that said NERGAL on it.*
Misty: "Naw.. hmm.. let's see what else is here.."
*Misty reached into her drawer and took out a tiger striped bikini*
Misty: "GAH! That's not mine.. must belong to Ash.... still.."
*Misty sighed*
Misty: "I'll never grow.. must be bad nutrition.."
*Misty decided to throw on her normal tank top and walked downstairs into the kitchen, where her older sisters were already up packing lunches for college*
Sister #1 (I forgot their names): "Hey! How's our favorite little, slacking _7?"
Misty: Shut up Ms. "I'm a Golden Squirtle", I'm still not all awake.. after I get some Karp Krunchies.. I might want to talk to you."
Sister #2: "Hey! Misty.. you like.. got mail.. two letters! One from an "Ash Ketchup? Oh.. Ketchum.. and one from a movie studio! I think it's for that fifth Pokémon Movie they're going to film.. maybe they need you to do the voice of something?"
*Sister #2 handed Misty the letters*
Misty: "Gee.. what to open first...."
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*Misty quickly opened Ash's letter and a small piece of paper fell out of the envelope and onto the table*
Sister #2: "Should have opened the movie letter.. you could have been Misty Hayashabara.. or something..."
Misty: "What's this?" *Misty picked up the paper* "WHAT!"
*"I've been captured by Team Rocket! Please come to 3x3 Takada Drive and bring your Togepi!" Stated the letter*
Misty: "Dang! That Shinji-Idiot.. I mean.. Ash.. idiot.. I guess we have to ge rescue him!" *Misty scooped up Togepi amd walked out the door.*
Sister #3: "Ooo! Misty left her breakfast.. DIBS!"
Sister #2: "No fair!"
Sister #1: "Go right ahead, that breakfast is too angelic for my tastes."
Sisters #2 and #3: "Huh?"
*Misty walked around the town looking for the street. Suddenly someone hugged onto Misty from behind!*
Mysterious Person: "PAI! OH! After years of searching... I found you! PAI! PAI! PAI!"
Misty: "My name is Misty, not Pai.. and furthermore.."
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Misty: "What is this Pai that you speak of?"
The Stranger: "Well...."
*Misty interupted him*
Misty: "I remember this time, my sisters made some pie. It was a Creamy Lemon pie with a subtle tinge of.. well.. lemon! It was wonderful, we stirred it with these Cool Devices.. and it was.. cool! After we ate the pie, we went on a picnic and I flew a Kite! It was a Dragon Pink color. But some Wicked City kids threw a rock at my umm.. hello?"
*The Stranger had vanished from the scene.*
Misty: "That was disappointing.." *Misty spotted a sign that said Takada Drive across the street* "Alright!!!!!"
*Misty happily skipped across the street.*
Misty: "Ac...ro..ss!"
*Misty stopped in front of a door that had 3x3 in big gold letters on the cover. She knocked on the door and the door flew open on it's own.*
Misty: "Well, that's inviting. Anybody home?" *Misty peered in and noticed that the place was empty, except for a bucket of water in the middle of the floor and a lonely silver-framed picture of a rock next to a small stream*
Misty: "Hmm.. now what should I do....?"
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*Misty looked into the bucket, which seemed to have water in it*
Misty: "What does THIS have to do with Ash?" *Misty looked at the water a little more and realized that she could not see her reflection in it*
Misty: "I just don't get it.."
*Misty knelt down and touched her index finger to the surface of the water, as she lifted her finger, the water appeared to stick to her finger.*
Misty: "This is like with the Unknown... or.. is it.." *The water suddenly started to overflow from the bucket and collected into a puddle under Misty's feet.*
Misty: "Curiouser and curioser..."
*Suddenly Misty felt herself falling and everything went black."
Misty: "Where am I falling..."
*Misty's eyes opened slowly and she felt her hands wrapped around the handles of some type of machine.*
Misty: "Why am I piloting this thing?"
Mysterious Voice: "Because you need a sense of self-worth!"
Misty: "Oh, shut up..."
*Everything faded to black again.*
Misty: "I see two lights.. ahead of me... red.. and.. blue.. which way..."
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*Misty reached toward the Blue light and suddenly found herself in the middle of a lake*
Misty: "What in the world?"
*Misty swam to the shore and then walked up to a house near the lake*
Misty: "That's.. just.. weird.."
*Suddenly, Misty heard a small voice calling out to her*
Small Voice: "Misty! Ash is further on! You must catch the wind!"
*Misty stepped into the house and found a small airplane*
Misty: "Okay.. this is just.. weird.. I guess I take this airplane? Hmm..."
*Misty stepped up into airplane and pushed a button, the plane started spinning and then took off into the sky*
Misty: "Yikes! I'm.. high!"
*The radio crackled in the plane and then an unusual voice came out through the radio*
Unusual Voice: "Misty.. you must fly straight toward Pallet Town!"
*Another unusual voice came out through the radio and broke off the first voice*
Another Unusual Voice: "No! Go to Cerulean! Cerulean!"
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Misty: "This mess started in Cerulean.. maybe I can find more clues there!"
*Suddenly the plane lurched and shook violently*
Misty: "By the Light! I'm losing control! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"
*The plane plummeted into a conveniently placed structure of hay bales*
Misty: "Woo! I'm glad there were some conveniently placed structures of hay bales to stop my entirely inappropriate in these current paranoiac times of pretended sensitivity toward any aeronautical travel mishap that involves plummeting toward the Earth and crashing into a large structure accidentally."
*Misty looked around at her surroundings and noticed a large crowd of people stareing at her.*
Misty: "MISTY!"
Large crowd of people: "She crashed into our conveniently placed structure of hay bales! She must be a terrorist bent on dismantling our fragile over-zealous nationalism by destroying our conveniently placed structure of hay bales!!"
Misty: "I'm not a terrorist.. I'm not related to Regis Philban!" *Misty started to run away very fast toward what appeared to be a small town*
Regis Philban: "I'm not really a terrorist.. it's just a hobby."
*The Large Crowd of People chase after Misty*
Misty: "Looks like I'm not in Cerulean.. OH MY GOODNESS! I'm in Pallet!" *Misty ran into an alleyway and lost the Large Crowd of People.* "Whoo! Looks like I lost them.. now I'll go talk to Ash's mother!" *Misty walked to Ash's house, knocked twice and then walked right in.*
Misty: "I'm surprised Ash's mom didn't buy a tougher lock for her door! That one was no matcher for my patented PINSER-GRIP door lock buster from Silph Co. If it doesn't say Silph Co. on the box, it's not Silph Co. in the box! Burn these horrible ad placements. At least I'm not kissing up to Snowball.com to get by!"
*Misty looked around the house, took some Lunchables from the fridge, drank some Caterpie Cola and then she heard someone coming! Misty ran into Ash's room to hide.*
Misty: "Oh, great! Where do I hide..?"
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Misty: "Oh, no! I'll hide in this closet!"
*Misty ducked into the closet and watched as two mysterious figures entered the room*
Mysterious figure: "Where do you suppose the boy has hidden it?"
Mysterious Figure 2: "Well, how should I know.. we didn't ask him."
Mysterious Figure: "No matter, we weren't looking for THAT anyways."
Mysterious Figure 2: "Oh, yeah.. anyways.. we should leave while the story is still suspenseful!"
*And with that, the two mysterious figures left*
Misty: "I wonder what they were there for?"
*Misty came out of the closet*
Misty: "Who would have guessed?"
Voice: "Well, you should BATTLE me then!"
*Misty turned around startled to see a cloaked figure standing in front of her.*
Misty: "Who are you? Why are you? What does this have to do with the Moldiver Project?"
Cloaked Figure: "Wrong anime, you dolt! Just take out your balls and battle me!"
*Misty reached into her back pack and took out a Pokéball*
Misty: "Sometimes I'm a Beautiful Trainer! Sometimes I'm a Brave Pilot! Sometimes I'm a weirdo who hides in closets! But in reality.. I am One CUTEY Misty! Champion of love! And using my 133+ Pokémon skills.. in the name of Game Freak.. I will punish you!"
Cloaked Figure: "That was long and pretentious!"
Misty: "Really? How about I shorten it?"
Cloaked Figure: "That would be a good idea."
Misty: "God forgive me for I use no Gimmicks!"
Cloaked Figure: "Might be a good idea to leave religion out of this... you know.. Family Groups.."
Misty: "Right! Well.. 3, 2, 1! Let's JAM!"
*Psyduck suddenly appeared*
Psyduck: "Psy!"
Misty: "Oh, bad! I only have two other balls.. hmm.. a Master Ball... and a Great Ball... hmm.. to Master Ball, or not to Master Ball..."
Cloaked Figure: "You're just lucky no one in Pokémon knows how to just shoot you with a gun."
Misty: "You're telling me? What should I use..."
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*Misty reached for her balls and grabbed the Master Ball*
Misty: "You are sooo not going to win! Staryu! GO!"
*Staryu popped out of the Master Ball*
Cloaked Figure: "Oh, please.. why are you keeping Staryu in a MASTER BALL? I mean.. isn't that a waste? No matter.. GO PIKABLUE!!!!"
*Out of the Cloaked Figures ball came a Pikachu that had been dipped in obvious skylark blue food coloring."
Misty: "There is no Pikablue! That's just a shoddy fan translation job! And that.. That's just a Pikachu dipped in blue food coloring!
Cloaked Figure: "NO! It's Skylark Blue Food Color, woman! Get it right! PIKABLUE BLUE THUNDERY WAVE THINGIE NOW!"
*The "Pikablue" zapped the Staryu and the Staryu fainted.*
Misty: "Oh, my STARS!
Brock: "And garters!"
Misty: "What are you doing here?"
Brock: "Oogling. What else?"
Misty: "BUT YOU ARE NOT IN THIS STORY!"
Brock: "But people like me..."
Cloaked Figure: "Hey! Golden Boy! The Jailbait and I would like to continue our fight!"
*Brock leaves*
Misty: "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"
Cloaked Figure: "Jailbait. So?"
Misty: "You made me scared! That makes me feel sad! When I feel sad.... and... I need to hold Togepi.."
*Misty took Togepi out of the Great Ball and then the Cloaked Figure lunged forward and grabbed Togepi.*
Cloaked Figure: "HA! Ash said you would bring Togepi! I, the Great Philip Wesley, have -through the power that bad fan fiction writers use called "Self-Insertation"- been watching you refuse to evolve this poor creature into it's ULTIMATE FORM! I will evolve your Togepi! Ash instructed me on how! He's away for his new job at McDonphan and has let me use his Pikachu to progress my plot to EVOLVE TOGEPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Misty: "You're trying to evolve my Togepi? But.. you're so.. well.. wouldn't you rather want to play with my Psyduck?"
Philip: "After the Fan Fiction.. this isn't a lemon you know. But right now.. I'm trying to evolve your Togepi and you have to make desperate pleas for me to not do so."
Misty: "Please.. don't evolve Togepi!"
Philip: "Umm.. a little more desperation in your voice, please? Here.. cling to my leg and loosen that right suspender a bit. There you go.. now.. yell!"
Misty: "PLEASE!!! I BEG OF YOU! TAKE THE FARM! TAKE ME! BUT PLEASE DON'T EVOLVE TOGEPI!"
Philip: "Well, it's evolved form is kind of stupid looking.. heh.. Togepi is stupid.. period."
*Philip tosses Togepi out the window*
Misty: "Oh, well. Umm.. is this Fan Fiction over?"
Philip: "Yes. Gotta love the vastly stupid, anti-climatic ending! Just like Metal Gear Solid 2!"
Misty: "At least it wasn't boring as watching dry cement get drier like Halo! Hey, Philip.. you can be Solid Snake if you want.."
Philip: "Of course! I'm writing this thing! Sooo about your Psyduck..."
INCREDIBLY LAME ENDING!!